As part of their Booksneeze program, I am occasionally provided with book from Thomas Nelson for review. Last year I received Love and Respect. It seemed an appropriate book to review at this time, what with the upcoming holiday and all 🙂
Women need love and men need respect. When either feels neglected, the marriage has the ability to decent into the crazy cycle. In order to prevent or inturrupt the crazy cycle, the man must remember that, even if she isn’t acting like it at the moment, his wife respects him. The woman must remember that, even if he isn’t showing it, the man loves her.
Operating from this position of assumed best intentions is the simple premise behind this book by Emmerson Eggerichs. And, if life were really that simple, the secret to a happy marriage might also be that simple. Personally, I don’t believe that it is.
The book is full of examples of couples that the Eggerichs have worked with in their years of counseling. These examples are often either oversimplified and/or stereotypical.
I found myself frustrated and upset while I was reading this book. My husband and I have a generally good but not perfect marriage. There have been times when our problems were simply I didn’t feel important enough to him (unloved) and he didn’t feel respected by me. Using Dr. Eggerichs’ advice would have definitely helped in those times. But there have been plenty of time when I have felt that he didn’t respect me. Knowing that he loved me didn’t help diminish those problems.
The moral of the story is, when you’re upset, trust that your spouse is not trying to make you mad—whatever they are doing or have done, their heart is in the right place. If you can approach the conversation with that attitude, you can prevent the spiral into the circle of crazy. Great advice. Would have made a great blog post. No need to read it for 300 pages, unless your problems really are that simple.
