What is it about goal setting that sets us up to fail? Is it just me?

I started running (again) this summer, and this fall started going further and further until I realized I was on track to do a 1/2 Marathon. And not just any half marathon. The way I was running, I would probably do the fasted half I’d ever done.

But…something kept me from registering. As soon as I registered, I would be committed. And once I was committed, I was no longer “running” I was “training.” And you can’t fail at running. But you can fail at training.

I decided to wait to register. I would do a 12-mile run. It was going to be a gorgeous weekend, it would be a little over two hours outside, with the dog. It would be great.

In the end, I didn’t get to do my 12 miles. Instead, I had my gallbladder removed and am happy I never registered for anything because I wouldn’t be able to do it anyway. However, I’ve still been thinking about the whole situation. About running versus training. About how as soon as I set a goal for myself, I lose the fun and casualness of doing the thing I love and I turn it into a chore. It’s not just running, or biking, or swimming (or triathlons.) I do it with all types of creativity. I do it with writing. I do it with art. I do it with this blog. As soon as it’s something I “have” to do, distractions and disruptions abound and that thing that I once enjoyed not only doesn’t get done, but becomes a source of shame and guilt.

I’m thinking of doing an experiment. What if I stop putting expectations on myself? What if I let the art be play again? I’ve played around with it (pun intended) a little this week. While recovering from surgery, I couldn’t do much of anything, so everything I actually did was a bonus. I’m feeling a little better now. I’m going to try to keep the expectations low, and hopefully keep the opportunities high. Maybe, if I’m not so worried about how quickly I can get from A to Z, I’ll actually get there. And enjoy the journey.