“Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.”

This verse came to me tonight while I was thinking about how frustrated this stage of my life can be. I feel like I’m waiting for my real life to start- waiting until I can do what I love, waiting until we are financially stable, waitin until I’m healthy, skinny, whatever. Just waiting. The worst part about it is, I don’t even really know what I’m waiting for. I don’t know what it is my life is supposed to look like. So how will I even know if I get there?

I read a statistic today that terrifies me- there are over a million books published each year! What makes me think I can make a meaningful contribution to that sea? I have a better chance of getting cancer than being a successful author.

Oh wait- I already have cancer- so does that mean I have a better than average shot?

I have been letting myself shut down this past week, and it’s not good. I haven’t painted, I’ve barely read and barely written. I’ve watched TV. And now I feel sorry for myself.

So, I will go to bed and wake up tomorrow ready for God to move, or at least sit with me while I wait.