Thursdays are my “whatever is on my mind today” posts. Lots of times, that means kid stuff. Today, it’s kind of kid, kind of me.

Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, it’s not enough? I do. A lot. Since leaving my corporate job in December to pursue writing, Pilates and jewelry design full time. I was also hoping that I would have more time with the kids, an easier time keeping up with the cooking and the cleaning and the grocery shopping and, of course, a little bit of down time too.

I know, I was crazy.

Besides the things listed above, I work 22 hours a week at Whole Foods (which, btw, is just about the greatest job on earth). So right off the top, half of the time I thought I was gaining is gone.

And working for yourself is hard. Not the motivation piece, I don’t have a problem with that at all. But when something doesn’t happen or goes wrong, it’s all my fault. And when I can’t figure out how to make something work, or why no one seems to be finding me or hiring or buying from me or whatever, it’s up to me to fix.

That’s tough.

It’s a change. And sometimes I feel a bit deflated and defeated.

The house and kid stuff didn’t magically get fixed either. The kids are still in daycare (how else would I be able to get everything else done?) so they still leave early in the morning and get back in the late evening, often in time for dinner, baths a few books and bed. If I take time from my business work to clean the house, I feel guilty because I’m not bringing money in. If I don’t, I feel guilty for not keeping up with things better.

Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy at this point in my life. Life really is good. I’m just ramblin’ a bit, hopefully to be a bit encouraging to everyone else out there who feels like they need to do it all but can’t figure out how.

We’re all in the same boat.