May 19

I’m proud of myself, I just sat down at my desk and I’m starting to write. And I read part of the ACE manual last night. I have so much personally that I need to do I think I’m going to have another day where I can’t focus:
1) Call utility companies for McMahan
2) Call utility companies for Gardendale
3) Research Seating
4) Pick day for ACE test
5) Exercise (I’m committed to doing this on my lunch break again. I was going to lift weights, but I forgot to bring shoes, so I’ll swim).

I wish I had some clearer direction and was more content. I don’t hate this job in any way shape or form, but I’m not as happy with the rest of my life as I was when I worked here before. I feel like I’m constantly playing catch up. Maybe it’s a new mom thing that I’ll get used to. Maybe I need more friends to help me through it. I think it’ll be better after we move and I have Austin, when I can stay up a bit later at night to spend time with Chris and I’m not so exhausted every day that I feel like I don’t have any fun with Lily. I’m also excited to wear normal clothes again.

All of this, and I am terrified that this baby is going to come too soon. I feel guilty saying I’m uncomfortable and that I’m tired of wearing maternity clothes (or not, I just don’t want to go buy any more. I wonder if all of my shirts are going to look funny after my belly is gone.)

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